Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The Heels are Too Damn High Party

Stuart Weitzmen, Christian Louboutin, Steve Madden, Jimmy Choo, Badley Mischka, and yes you Jessica Simpson, you are all criminals. These designers, (and knock off designers Jessica and Steve), are criminals for bringing the ultra high and chic 5 + inch heels to the runway. Where is this going to end? When the heels have hit 10 inches? 13 inches? Don't you know how much pain we are in as women?

I've many a time have pulled a young girl off the floor where her too high heels have sent her spread eagle. Or steadied a teetering friend across a snowy street, or simply watched at the mall pretzel in hand as yet another girl who doesn't know how to walk in heels stagers for the nearest bench. Or stared in horror at a wedding as the bride holds her shoes in her hand while she walks around her reception. THIS IS ALL UNACCEPTABLE!!! if you don't know how to wear heels don't wear them. Until you can run a block in heels and keep them on for more then 5 hours and learn to saunter like a ballerina DON'T wear them. You look stupid. Now that I have you inept heel wearers addressed lets talk to the girls with experience and grace and a closet full of heels.

With the revival of the stiletto heel in 2000 we celebrated! After it's near death in the 1990's we though yes long legs, elegance, and yes a high heel is a thing a beauty to look at, but lets fast forward to 2011. Platform stilettos reign the runway with the iron fist of pain, skyrocketing heel heights are now in the 6 inches! A model falling on the runway is a regular occurrence and even veterans like me are looking at heels with fear. It takes me about 20 mins of peptalk to pull on my blue "Louboutin" and strut my stuff.

While out on a shopping trip with my friend let's call her "Jennifer" she had on a pair of ultra high "Louboutin" ankle boots. This girl knew how to walk, talk and strut in her heels like the veteran she is. But we couldn't go to certain stores or climb stairs because she couldn't chase her child in the shoes she was wearing. She was a pro with heels and kept them on the whole time we were out about 3 hrs with no complaints and in 6+ heels that's a miracle but we had to walk slow and sit often.

The heels are too damn high!!!! They hurt, their dangerous and they can't be good for our feet. 4 inches are high enough we don't need ultra high, or extra platform. Who are the women who are pulling these looks off? Who is wearing these as a shoe for longer then 3 hours? This is a trend that needs to die, because the heels are too damn high.

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